Prompt as Hell with KJ and Budgie # 1- Max And The Cable Guy

My beautiful puppy is the joy of my heart. She’s got shiny black fur with speckles of brown placed throughout. I found her for free on a page on Facebook when I fell in love with a picture of her and her siblings.

“Her mom’s a rat terrier,” the lady had told me, “but we don’t know what her dad is.”

Although my husband has something against “ankle biters”, he agreed that I could have Max. As she got older, we deduced that her dad is in fact a Schnauzer, thus making her half Rat Terrier, half Schnauzer.

I brought Max home when she was only six weeks old. She was so cute in the palm of my hand, with her little floppy ears that were too big for her head.

I protected her from our older pup, Violet, a Blue Heeler, who decided immediately that Max was a chew toy I’d pick up from Walmart. I protected her from Nerd, who just gets pissed every time we get a new pet. Nerd is our cat. She was here before all the others. She’s five now, and ornery in her old age.

Max was in my arms wherever I went, and if I was sitting, she was sure to be found in my lap. When a guest would arrive, Max would do her little bark, growl, and lunge forward movement in an effort to establish her dominance in the household.

I thought she loved me, until the first time I had to call the cable guy to my home. When he arrived, she didn’t do her “I’ll rip your head off” routine. She pranced over to him, tail wagging, and sniffed his boot. Almost instantly, she jumped up and started humping his leg. I was embarrassed, and also sad.

How come she never humped my leg? I have loved her since she was six weeks old!

I feed her in the mornings. The cable guy has never so much as offered her a crumb.

I take her outside and let her do her business in the privacy of our front yard every morning. The cable has not once asked me if he could walk my dog.

I’ve picked up her poo-poo in the house when she wasn’t yet trained to empty her bowels outside. The cable guy has never cleaned up her poop.

By the way, I’m the one who trained her to empty her bowels outside, yet she loves the cable guy more than me.

The cable guy has been to my house multiple times. In this small town, when service is needed, you can almost bet money on the same person showing up to your house every time.

Max follows him wherever he goes and demands his attention. She doesn’t do this with anyone else. She will sit pretty and watch him with awe in her puppy eyes as he fumbles with wires and such.

She never follows me where I go. She’d rather lay in bed or on the couch chewing her bone, ignoring my voice.

I buy her toys, food, and new collars when she outgrows the ones she’s wearing. Not once has the cable guy offered me puppy support.

I’ve cuddled her when she was sick, and washed the comforter after she’s puked.

So, why does she love the cable guy more than me? Where did I go wrong in raising my sweet puppy? Where did the cable guy go right? Does she just think he’s cute? Does he simply stop for a bacon sandwich before coming over in an effort to seduce my puppy?

It’s terrible. We raise them from infancy, and they turn on us the very second they develop a mind of their own.



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