Responding to Backlash – Dear Violet Paley

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OH my God. Lord. This post is more about yourself than is is about James or Violet or anyone else. Want to talk more about your novel (lmao) and your love of criminology? Hoping Franco is going to stumble upon this feeble defence and check out your novel? I can practically see the fedora.” – Bethany

*Cracks knuckles – Straightens fedora*

I have tried to remain open-minded to every point of view.  I have tried to state my opinion in a way that was not degrading to those with opinions  which differ from mine. I knew when I wrote that post; the one addressed specifically to Violet Paley, I knew that I would get backlash; if it were read at all. Let’s face it, indie bloggers have a hard time getting their work seen. We don’t write our blogs expecting a big audience. Click here to read the frickin’ letter.

 

I’ve never been fond of being stuffed inside a box. You guys wanted a niche. I gave you a niche. I write crime fiction. I writer horror thrillers. I’m no fucking James Patterson or Stephen King, either.

 

Saying that I posted the “Feeble defence(*defense, btw.)” to somehow gain James Franco’s attention in hopes that he’d read my blog or my not yet published novel is…bullshit. I’m not psychotic or delusional. I have maybe ten followers on this site so far, and I doubt he sits around waiting for dumbass, talentless, indie writers to post blogs for him to read. Give me a little more credit than that, would ya? Fuck.

I had no personal agenda in posting that letter. I saw something that I thought was wrong, and I’m nothing if not outspoken and honest – so I wrote about it. I do that with a lot of things. LGBT+ rights, seeing as how I’m an LGBT+ author. Anti-bullying. Equality. All of it. I just hate bullshit and I have a horrible tendency to call it when I see it. I won’t stop, either. It’s not my style.

It’s true, too, that along with many others, I retweeted that letter quite a bit. Every person I saw bashing the name of a man not yet proven guilty, I shared the link. I’ve left it alone now, but it’s still getting attention from stragglers.

I’ve gotten my fair share of Thank you’s for saying what others were thinking. I’ve also gotten my fair share of hate.

I’ve been told I’m a rape supporter. This is absolutely absurd. I despise the word, and those who commit such heinous acts against another person. These men, by the way, are hardly accused of RAPE.

I’m a victim shamer? No. No, I’m not. I never bashed the victims. I empathize with the victims and wholeheartedly feel sorry for them. I said that the liars need to be stopped. Read more carefully before you try to come at me with my own words twisted like salty pretzels.

A disgrace to society? However horrible of a person you think I am, I’m sure there are worse people out there. I pride myself on -at the very least- trying to be a good person.

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

I’ve even been told that if my child is ever raped, I would be no support to her at all. If my child is ever raped, the son-of-a-bitch who did it better run far..fast… Of course I’d support her. Assholes.

I’ve also been told to watch my back. I have no response for that. I mean, I was a prison guard back in the day,  so it’s pretty hard for people to sneak up on me. Whatever.

Do I regret posting it? Sometimes I wish I’d put my foot in my mouth. I can’t go about my daily life without my phone or my computer constantly buzzing and dinging with notifications. I have to keep my phone on the charger because the steady incoming of notifications drains the battery, and my friends and family are tired of my grumpy demeanor these past several days. My best friend even asked me the loaded question, “Was it worth it?”

I still stand by my opinion. Just as she has people coming to her aid and support for her accusations, he deserves to say “That’s not right,” and have the support of people who believe him until it’s proven otherwise.

Not just him, though. All of the men deserve that opportunity. It’s law. It’s basic human right. It’s just common decency.

I can’t take the post down now. How would that look? If I’m willing to open my mouth, I’m certainly willing to deal with the consequences.

This situation goes far beyond Violet Paley and James Franco. There are victims all over the world without a voice, and men all over the world who are being wrongfully accused by those who wish to play judge and jury. I elaborated a bit in this post: Feminism 101

As for the #TimesUp and #MeToo movements, I stand firm in my belief that they were intended to be good, and as with anything else, someone fucked it up for those with good intentions.

I don’t think Social Media is the proper place to bring forth accusations of sexual assault. If you want women to have a voice, give them a safer outlet, and a better advocate than someone like Scarlett Johannson.

I’m an emotional writer. I’m not going to stop blogging about what I feel.  The support…The backlash…I guess it all comes with the territory.

-KJ

 

 

 

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4 Comments

  1. Thanks KJ. Truth is the new hate speech. You have a level head and didn’t attack anyone but they stopped low and attacked you. I believe that when we blog we like input but not insults and accusations. If you don’t agree with something someone said, it’s ok to ask questions; insults are limited to those who are not well educated and/or have low IQs. Your blog is there to get people to think and for civilized input.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I support you! Your post was great! And true! I’m also a sexual abuse survivor and I think the #metoo movement has become a witch hunt and innocent people are being attacked. James Franco is only one example. Keep it up.

    Like

    1. James didn’t break any laws that were on record. If he’d done these things it should have been a warning verbally from the actresses auditioning. Even if they didn’t get the part they might have reported it and signed on with another director. None of those things occurred. I’d been a victim of this behavior myself but I didn’t waste time and filed it. That’s why this blows my mind.

      Like

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